Brain Squeeze Read online

  THE GREEN THUMB

  Morris could grow anything. At fifty four he had had enough of work. Early retirement, due to a very successful portfolio of the stocks he had persuaded other investors over the years to accumulate made him one of the fortunate individuals to whom financial gambling had paid off handsomely. He was set for life money-wise so he could now spend full time of his newly acquired hobby. Morris Danby figured if he could grow his bank account at such outstanding levels, growing green type stuff was a piece of cake.

  Molly, his wife of thirty-two years, was another story. “Why don’t you do something beneficial to your community,” she had constantly moaned. “Growing stupid plants and flowers is ridiculous. You need to be on several citizens committees like me. At least I make an impact on our neighbors.”

  “To heck with the neighbors,” Morris had retaliated. “They are nothing but a bunch of busy-bodies who are constantly sticking their noses where they don’t belong. I will stick to my gardening, thank you anyways.”

  This arguing was never ending but, luckily for Morris’s sake, his wife was gone most of the time tending to her lunches and dinner benefits. The amount of time she spent away from their ranch style house gave Morris more than ample time to spend on his projects.

  Morris’s flowers were the envy of the local gardening club and his vegetables were always blue ribbon material at the county fair but, he wished for much more. “I want to create the ultimate plant.” He had more than once murmured to himself. “If I just had the right fertilizer my botanical creation will be talked about for years.”

  “My plant will be able to produce seven vegetables simultaneously, I will be known as the green thumb of the century. The new methods I have developed will be the talk of the horticultural world. I will be able to make a fresh garden salad from only one plant. My name will become a household word. The Morris Salad will be my child.” He constantly reminded himself. “I will probably get a noble peace prize.”

  Morris had developed a grafting method unheard of in the plant world. The adhesive qualities of his hybrid plants were uncanny but, he had still lacked finding the right nourishment to pull the newly created green children, as he liked to call them, through the first couple of crucial weeks. Just when he thought they were going to blossom into a sparkling new life-form they would suddenly wither and die, resisting his most ardent preparations to revive them.

  Six months sped rapidly past him until one day he hit on the right combination of ingredients to finally let him achieve his moment of glory. His plants lived one week, then two, and then finally the thirty day barrier past and the new life forms almost pulsed with vitality. “I have done the impossible but, it was not only me. I also have Molly to thank. I am going to rename my new plant the Molly Miracle in reverence to her unselfish devotion.”

  Alice Cooperman was a solitary old bitty but, she still had one close friend. Unfortunately, her only friend wasn’t around anymore. Her cantankerous ways had alienated anyone who might have gotten close to her except Molly.

  They were like two peas from the same pod. Always complaining about everything. Their constant complaining had drawn them closer and closer together. Their targets of gossip included everyone but, themselves and they seemed delighted in this knowledge. Now, something was terribly wrong. That stupid Morris Danby was being very evasive. He wouldn’t let Molly talk on the phone and every time she had knocked on the door he had said she was resting and could not be disturbed. “I bet he did something to her,” Alice thought bitterly, “it’s time I called the police.”

  Lieutenant Nelson, twenty seven years on the force, recognized an unstable person from the beginning. “This Cooperman broad is three pickles shy of a barrel,” he thought, “the lights are on but, there’s nobody home. Why me?”

  “Listen Lieutenant, you might think I’m crazy like the rest of this stupid town but, I know what I’m talking about. Molly and I talked to each other everyday and now I haven’t seen her in months. That’s why I called the homicide department. I know my friend has been murdered. Her dumb husband worked for months to find a new fertilizer for this stupid plant he invented. The talk around town is he finally discovered it and Molly has vanished. I think he murdered her and drained her blood to use in his new concoction. I want you to go arrest him for the murder of my best friend!”

  “Calm down Mrs. Cooperman. We’ll get to the bottom of this. You have been reading too many terror tales. Things like that don’t happen in real life. I promise you we will get to the bottom of this and put your mind at ease.”

  “Thank you lieutenant but, I know you will find an evil deed has been done. That Morris Danby is nothing but trouble.”

  Lieutenant Nelson’s knock was swiftly answered by a smiling, grandfather type with that sincere look that proclaimed this man was your friend forever.

  “Hello, what can I do for you?”

  “Mr. Danby, I presume. I’m sorry to bother you but, I’m following up on a complaint about the disappearance of your wife.”

  “Disappearance? I don’t quite understand but, I bet it has something to do with that old biddy Mrs. Cooperman. She’s been harassing me for months.”

  “Well I sure would like to close the books on this but; I hope you realize I have to have a complete report. I hope you’re not going to tell me Mrs. Danby is visiting her mother or you and she had a fight and she left in the middle of the night. Those types of explanations just make my job a lot more difficult trying to chase down the facts.”

  “Don’t worry officer; I will make your job real simple. My wife had a stroke and she is paralyzed on her left side. She is also unable to talk and that is why I won’t let that old hag see her. I just try to keep her as comfortable as possible with whatever time she has left.”

  “Well, that sure is a relief. I’m sorry about what happened to your wife but, I’m glad it wasn’t evil doing on your part. I thought that lady was rowing with only one oar. I would like to see your wife if you wouldn’t mind though, I can put that I made physical contact in my report and no one can come back on me later for not doing a complete job.”

  “No problem officer, just follow me.”

  Morris led the police lieutenant down a short flight of stairs into a family room that had been converted into a hospital room. The smell of antiseptic overpowered the officer’s nose but, the sterility of the room impressed him totally.

  “Molly dear, you have a visitor.”

  Dull eyes stared vacantly toward the far wall but, the rhythmic lifting and falling of the sheet confirmed the living body trapped inside the paralyzed shell.

  “I’m sorry she isn’t very responsive today,” Morris apologized, “I’m afraid she’s having one of her down days.”

  “I fully understand Mr. Danby and I am terribly sorry I had to bother you. It must be a real strain on you to have this burden thrown on you. I will just let myself out and thank you very much.”

  “Oh, you’re quite welcome but, believe me. It is no burden. I love my wife very much. So much, I named my new plant after her.”

  Hearing the door shut behind the police officer, Morris began crooning to his beloved Molly. “Imagine the nerve of that old biddy. Thinking I would hurt you. You are very special to me. After all, you are the reason my plant is successful. It was really fortunate that you didn’t die when you had that nasty stroke, otherwise, I would never had discovered my new formula.”

  Morris lifted the sheet delicately down to Molly’s ankles and admired how she had kept her trim shape after all these years. Stretching sterile gloves over his plump fingers and fitting a surgical mask under his twinkling eyes he sighed with devotion as he picked up a scalpel and battery operated cautery.

  “Imagine someone thinking I could hurt you. You know I would never do anything to cause you pain.”

  His grin never faded as he began slicing more of his secret ingredient from her nerve deadened left side and
staunching the flow of blood with the cautery.